dancing robots

When I look at the pictures I've taken in the past few weeks, I really begin to wonder if I'm cut out for this. I feel like instead of improving, I'm progressively getting worse and worse. My pictures lack variety, they lack emotion. And I know what they need, I know what I need to improve on, yet nothing is happening. I'm afraid maybe I'm losing my focus, which is pathetic, since I've only been doing this for two years.

I'm frustrated, and today's assignment just nailed it on the head that I'm not only letting the newspaper down, but I'm letting myself down too.

I feel overworked and stressed. I needed a paying job to be able to stay in Lexington for the summer, and now I'm feeling the stress from my other job. It makes me not look forward to the two days I work at the paper, because that's two more days that I have to work.

And I'm upset that I'm not enjoying this. That I'm not learning and spending time with my photo coach because of this stupid job. I'm not getting out of this what I should be, and I think the paper knows that. I'm waiting for the email or phone call that asks me to come in, that we "need to have a talk."

I'm shooting something tomorrow morning, and I'm determined to look at it differently. To do better, to deliver and to have that special something that's been missing in my photos for the past few months.

ETA:
I have some pretty incredible friends. I need to write a thank you note to a family in Middlesboro. And, I tacked a message to to your cork board. You won't get it until July, but the message should ring true then as it does now.