look each other in the eye and say, "hello".

I've been away from home for a little over a week. When I was younger, getting away from home was a treat. My first experience of venturing out on my own was when I was eight years old and my parents sent me, along with my friends, to sleepaway camp. I was one of the few children who didn't cry, yearning to go home. Instead, I cried when I had to go home. For the longest time, I hated being home, especially in the summer.

This is the first summer where, once on vacation, I realized how much I loved home. I love my family, and I definitely feel like this vacation was needed, however despite the sprawling beaches, the beautiful surf and sun and the shopping, I just wanted to be home.

In Lexington I've created a family that's made college my home away from home. In these last few months I've formed such strong relationships with people, bonds that I hope will never be broken. To be away from the people that have seen me at my best and worst, who I talk to, share my anecdotes with, hugs and frowns...I was homesick. I still am homesick.

I've spent three hours in Las Vegas, waiting on a delayed flight. I've had those three hours to ruminate on how much the people and the city of Lexington mean to me. Sure, I might be sporting a USC hoodie...and sure, I may never really love UK, but I've made the best of the situation. I move into an apartment this Sunday with my three best girlfriends, and I can't wait. I'm seeing TV on the Radio with Brad on Thursday, and spending tomorrow evening with Ross. It's only been a little over a week, but I'm missing that kid like crazy.

The airport is full with people anxious to get home. As much as I hate flying, I can't wait to get on that plane that will take me home.

buy me a shiny new machine that runs on lies and gasoline

i feel like i can write pretty candidly about my life and going ons here. i know of only one steady reader and know that what i say on here is what i would already tell him. i feel like this blog was my way of communicating what was going on in my life while he was on his adventure. i'm going to keep this going, though, and hopefully i'll get something out of it. i've been meaning to improve my writing, and seriously, is there any better opportunity to do this than a blog? that's a rhetorical question.

one of the things i've come to realize after being away at college, moving out and missing summers with high school friends is that people change. or maybe, people mature.

my high school life was horrible. i didn't have an established group of friends, jumped from person to person, and never really knew who i was. apparently, a lot of people saw me as this confidant person who knew where she was going, was true to herself. i've been told that people actually looked up to me in high school; wanted to be more like me. they had a pretty shitty way of showing it though.

i was that girl who wasn't invited to things, who heard about parties and gatherings after the fact. popular enough to know those people, but still not cool enough to see them on the weekends.

then something changed. i discovered music, and i truly believe that if it wasn't for "the district sleeps alone tonight" by the postal service, i'd be a different person right now. with music, i knew who i was. i didn't need others to make me happy, because in music i found myself. sappy, i know.

since then, i've always felt confidant. i didn't let the petty happenings and drama of high school get to me. i arrived at UK a different person, set on making new friends. not even a month into the school year, i felt accepted by a group of incredible, diverse people and had people from high school wanting to hang out with me. suddenly, i was cool. i haven't felt insecure in a long time, i said goodbye to my former scrawny, mousy self a long time ago.

tonight, i felt transported back to sophomore year. before indie music, before friends.

i kid you not, i was a joke tonight. i was the brunt of inside jokes, side laughs and shifty eyes. i couldn't believe what was going on around me. someone who i had confided so much in, who i thought was my friend, had seemingly turned on me, broke my confidence and bitch slapped me in the face with it. ouch.

i had to literally sit through an hour and a half of torture. i had to watch her charm him, watch him teased and doted on by the other girls, and realize that i was being ignored.

all i wanted was to spend one evening with him. it started out so well.

anyways, i can't wait to get to california. there's nothing i want to see more than the beaches of newport, the boardwalk, and those beautiful california sunsets.

summer here, kids

On the way back from a wedding, Sean asked me what my favorite event or most exciting assignment has been this summer. I honestly didn't know what to tell him. I haven't been or seen anything incredibly exciting, and I can't place my finger on any one assignment that left me feeling awe-inspired or glad that I was there.

I'm not going to lie, though. I've seen a lot of interesting places, met a lot of diverse and unique people and have driven nearly 1000 miles. But overall, with the concentration of this summer (or at least, coming into it) being photojournalism, it feels as thought I haven't really made any advances forward. I've remained pretty consistent, getting the same pictures, just in different situations. Maybe I'm wasting the opportunities that are out there (ie: I've only been on one assignment with my "buddy", David Stephenson) or maybe I'm not that great a photographer. Either way, going over my pictures, despite the multiple centerpieces I've had, I still don't feel like I've taken any one great picture.

But to prove that I haven't been loafing around all the much, here's a few pictures from this summer thus far...









Also, to prove that I actually take pictures of other things and have friends, here's a photo from last Saturday: