rollover to me

I've moved.

To Wordpress.

Farewell, Blogger.

All I still want to do is dance.

i like the way you nod after everything i say, like it actually means something to you

When I look around at everything, talk to friends and sit on that couch in the photo room and look at the wall of pictures that took me a year to produce, I begin to wonder why I can’t seem to do anything right.

It’s probably a common feeling among people, that everything we accomplish, everything we put effort into never really goes the way we want it to.

I look at my grades and think to myself that I could have, should have done better.

I look at the pictures I take and know that there was a better way to shoot it, but I didn’t do it.

My writing is lacking in grace and elegance, and I seem to not put the effort into strengthening it. I would if I had the time.

(Even as I type this, Microsoft Word is correcting my grammar. Geez)

But there should be time. There are fewer hours in my course load, but I still seem to be constantly going.

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When I first watched the movie Elizabethtown I really wasn’t a fan. Sure, Orlando Bloom’s beauty caused my high school heart to throb, but as a movie I couldn’t seem to really justify seeing it more than once.

While flipping through channels and On Demand nonsense, I discovered that we had a subscription to some movie channel.

My roommates and I huddled around the television and we watched Elizabethtown from start to finish. And somehow it was better, infinitely better actually, the second time around.

Maybe I didn’t appreciate what it had to offer. I needed to grow up a little, see a little more of life and experience what life has to offer in general. When I first watched the movie, I’d never felt the pain and excitement of being completely and totally head-over-heels for a person.

You know the feeling. It’s the excitement of seeing someone, the butterflies in the stomach when they look at you and the joy that rushes through your body when you first kiss.

As ridiculous as it may seem, there are some things in life that can’t be appreciated until you’ve received your first real kiss.

I guess one of those things for me was Elizabethtown.

I’m listening to a mix cd that a friend of mine made for me back in March. It’s been my favorite cd I’ve ever received from a person. We're slowly losing contact with one another, and I don't see it ever getting better. As more weeks pass and I see him less and less, the tougher it is to pick up the phone and call him to tell him I miss his goofy face. This thought alone makes me question how close of friends we were in the first place.

I hate when friendships fall apart.

and we want spectacular views if we're to stay for the weekend

I'm about to fall asleep. I'm on the cusp of being fully awake and deeply asleep, intoxicated with exhaustion.

Last week was rough, in every sense of the word. And this weekend wasn't exactly peaceful either. And I guess it's my fault, but I've come to learn you roll with it, look back on your mistakes and hopefully you come out of it a little bit stronger and wiser.

I feel like the entire month of October is conspiring against me. I know it's midterms, but this year seems so much more overwhelming than last year and I'm not even taking that many hours. I've never been a motivated student, and I haven't really decided on whether I want to do graduate school or not. And I feel that if I did really want to go to Berkeley, I would and should be trying harder. There's the potential there to achieve so much more, but I don't really feel the need to give anymore than I am. I'm such a slacker.

I'm having trouble writing my story. If I thought I didn't do it justice with my pictures, surely I should compensate with a strong story.

Washington D.C. in the fall should be pretty. Only a few more weeks.

In concert news, the Arcade Fire show fulfilled every need I had musically. I doubt any concert will be able to live up to their performance. I didn't let anything that went down that night bother me, because I was determined to have a good time. Nothing could ruin it for me, and nothing did. If you would have seen the look on my face that night, you would have been able to tell that there was nothing but pure joy there.

On a high note, I was reminded of what my high school taught me after a visit to my old summer abode:

I am a valuable person. I have dignity and worth. What I do makes a difference.

Thank you, Assumption High School.

sometimes we lie in the hammock, caught between the mesh

It's Autumn. I think the most change happens during this season. Everything is still so fresh and new, from the beginning of the semester, but people are slowly becoming more comfortable in their new roles, in their new lives. It's not that we've changed, but we've grown, and int he process the person we were last year isn't the same person we look at in the mirror each morning as we wash our faces and brush our teeth.

I love autumn. I get to wear warm sweaters and step on crunchy leaves and ride my bike up and down the streets while the cool, crisp air caresses my face. I let my hair grow long and maybe, on a special occasion, I'll wear it down. You'd be lucky to catch me with my boring brown locks out of a pony-tail.

Some of my best memories of last year happened during the fall. They're things I now look back on with fondness, and not with regret.

One of the best encounters of my life , and quite possibly the most life-changing was the day I met Dave LaBelle.

Dave was the photo adviser for the student newspaper I work at, and he was the person who really inspired me to pursue photojournalism. He believed in me from the very beginning, helped me when I had questions, guided me when I was lost, and was like a second a father to me.

I've never met a more genuine person than Dave. His heart is so incredibly big, and the amount of love and concern he has for those around him is inspiring. I can only hope to be half the photographer and person that Dave is. He has affected so many people around him, and changed the lives of so many people, including my own.

He's leaving this week for California to pursue his own personal projects, and get back to being a photographer. And I'm being selfish, because I don't want him to leave. I'm not ready for him to leave. Not yet. Deep down I feel like there's so much more to learn from him.

Just listening to Dave speak, I feel like I'm gaining a deeper insight into the way Dave sees things. Today he was talking to Elliott, and my friend Matt was in the room. I told him, "Stick around. You'll want to hear what Dave has to say." And he did. Maybe it was out of courtesy, or maybe it was out of curiosity. Either way, I think Matt gained something from it.

I'll have to say goodbye. At least, for now. I know I'll be seeing Dave down the road, at workshops and what not. I'm emotionally preparing myself for it, but how do you say thank you to the person who's influenced your life so much?

The least I can do is make him proud. And from here on out, that's what I plan on doing.