i like the way you nod after everything i say, like it actually means something to you

When I look around at everything, talk to friends and sit on that couch in the photo room and look at the wall of pictures that took me a year to produce, I begin to wonder why I can’t seem to do anything right.

It’s probably a common feeling among people, that everything we accomplish, everything we put effort into never really goes the way we want it to.

I look at my grades and think to myself that I could have, should have done better.

I look at the pictures I take and know that there was a better way to shoot it, but I didn’t do it.

My writing is lacking in grace and elegance, and I seem to not put the effort into strengthening it. I would if I had the time.

(Even as I type this, Microsoft Word is correcting my grammar. Geez)

But there should be time. There are fewer hours in my course load, but I still seem to be constantly going.

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When I first watched the movie Elizabethtown I really wasn’t a fan. Sure, Orlando Bloom’s beauty caused my high school heart to throb, but as a movie I couldn’t seem to really justify seeing it more than once.

While flipping through channels and On Demand nonsense, I discovered that we had a subscription to some movie channel.

My roommates and I huddled around the television and we watched Elizabethtown from start to finish. And somehow it was better, infinitely better actually, the second time around.

Maybe I didn’t appreciate what it had to offer. I needed to grow up a little, see a little more of life and experience what life has to offer in general. When I first watched the movie, I’d never felt the pain and excitement of being completely and totally head-over-heels for a person.

You know the feeling. It’s the excitement of seeing someone, the butterflies in the stomach when they look at you and the joy that rushes through your body when you first kiss.

As ridiculous as it may seem, there are some things in life that can’t be appreciated until you’ve received your first real kiss.

I guess one of those things for me was Elizabethtown.

I’m listening to a mix cd that a friend of mine made for me back in March. It’s been my favorite cd I’ve ever received from a person. We're slowly losing contact with one another, and I don't see it ever getting better. As more weeks pass and I see him less and less, the tougher it is to pick up the phone and call him to tell him I miss his goofy face. This thought alone makes me question how close of friends we were in the first place.

I hate when friendships fall apart.